


Different Now

by slasher48



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels' Fallible Understanding of Humanity, Gen, M/M, Pining, Season/Series 08 Spoilers, Season/Series 09 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-30 18:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slasher48/pseuds/slasher48
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has always felt. But it's different now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different Now

Don’t get him wrong.

Castiel felt things. Before.

Big things. Little things. Medium-sized things.

The little things were never for Dean.

(The medium-sized things were never for Sam.)

The biggest was for his father. Despite the continuing disappointment to accompany the loyalty and undying devotion.

However. Nothing was like this.

It was not ever like  _this_.

He could feel terror without his breathing cutting off or speeding up.

He could feel anger without losing control of his words or his limbs.

He could feel upset without feeling as though something heavy were sitting on this vess—no, now  _his_  chest.

He could feel love without the sweaty palms, the instinctual leaning as a flower to the sun, the utterly bereft ache of the body that accompanied denying himself.

Things are different now.

Things are  _very_  different now.

Because wanting to touch Dean in uncomfortably novel, confusing ways when the emotion was far enough from him to ignore was different.

Wanting to do so while his body—his  _being_ —is beholden to these things is very new.

And being unable to do so? Not knowing if Dean would allow it?

Perhaps this is the greatest ache he has felt so far.


End file.
